Sunday, August 26, 2007

Reflections

My maternal grandma passed away today. She had brain tumour, and for the past few weeks, she hadn't been able to see clearly, as the tumour was pressing on her optic nerve. She had been having vivid flashbacks on her past, and the hardships she had gone through. Just the night before, she had been having high fever, was in pain, and having difficulty in breathing. So she was put on morphine and Oxygen.

I always knew this moment would come, as she had been sick for so long, but she had always seemed larger then life, I just never thought it would be so soon. The moment she took her last breath, I was at work, cutting up chocolate to little chunks for chocolate fudge. -_-"

When I went into the car, my sister was crying, and she was on the phone. My initial thought was that she had quarreled with her boyfriend. Then my younger sis dropped the bomb. My grandma was gone. I felt numb, devoid of any feeling..

~~~

*When I was five, I was playing ballerina on her couch. I fell and split open my chin. I was crying and crying, and she was there for me comforting me.

*When I was still in primary school, my parents would sometimes drop me off at her place in the afternoons, as they were working. I would spend the afternoon watching tv, and eating the many treats she always seem to have.

*When I was reaching my adolescent years and being more active in swimming, she would make milo and give me crackers as sustenance before my parents came to pick me up for swimming training.

*When my parents were away on business trips, she would be the one tucking me into bed at night, waking me up in the morning, dragging me off the bed and asking me to get ready for school. She would make me breakfast of milo and sandwiches, and sit with me while I wait for my uncle to send me to school.

*When I was a teenager, she would still make milo for me, and sit down with me just to chat, and catch up with what I have been doing.

*When I was just visiting at her place, she would always pour tea for me. The tea would always be cold, and a little bit too sweet, but it was always the best tea I had ever tasted.

I look back on these many fond memories with a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, I was glad her suffering had finally ended. On the other hand, she would never be there to make milo for me any longer. Her funeral would be on Tuesday morning..

I can only hope that she has finally found peace where she’s at, and that she will be one of the five people I’ll meet in heaven when it’s my time.

6 comments:

ehon said...

im so sorry to hear that. may she rest in peace.

i guess it's never easy when it comes to accepting that death is natural. it's part of life. the born and death cycle. u never get used to it.

hugs!

annna said...

deepest condolence..

*huggles* the hardest thing in life is to let go. but, it's smth we ought to go thru in life.

huggles huggles

rong han said...

i'm so sorry to hear about that.
hope you are okay.
stay strong and take courage!!
hugz.

robin said...

condolences from me. I believe you will never see Milo the same way again.

water_angel said...

ehon
yes, I'm sure she's in a muc happier place now. Even though it's hard to see her go, but I know it's part and parcel of life =)

annna
Thanks! It's true that it's hard to let go, but I'm glad that she has finally been relieved of all the suffering ^_^

rong han
I'm fine, don't worry =)
I shall be strong and overcome it!

robin
Yea, I believe I wouldn't view it the way I did before. But at least it's a sweet memory to remember by =)

Chen said...

sorry to hear about that. My deepest condolence :( May your grandma rest in peace.