I believe a reality-check is in order.

It has been a tough month...and the worst is still not over.

Have you ever felt that the harder you try, the worse it gets? So what is the next course of action? Don't try at all? But wouldn't that be like, giving up? Wouldn't that be like, not pushing yourself?

It would be pointless.

All my life, the activities I've been involved in, is to encourage others to push out of their comfort zone, challenge their boundaries, have faith, keep moving forward, do your best in whatever you set out to do, even if there are a lot of obstacles in your way.

It would be ironic if I just throw in the towel the moment I face difficulty, wouldn't it? it would infinitely be easier to do, but it would not give me the satisfaction.

There was another possibility that opened up to me, an opportunity for a better financial position, an opportunity to maybe move on to an environment that is completely new, and start afresh. For two weeks, there was the internal battle, the weighing of pros and cons, the discussions with various parties.

Finally, a decision was made. And I hope I made the right one.

Glee Season 2, Episode 16

LOSER LIKE ME :)

eah, you may think that I'm a zero
But, hey, everyone you wanna be
Probably started off like me
You may say that I'm a freakshow (I don't care)
But, hey, give me just a little time
I bet you're gonna change your mind

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way
It ain't so hard to take, that's right
'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name
And I'll just look away, that's right

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down
Baby, I don't care
Keep it up, and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me

Push me up against the locker
And hey, all I do is shake it off
I'll get you back when I'm your boss
I'm not thinkin' 'bout you haters
'Cause hey, I could be a superstar
I'll see you when you wash my car

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way
It ain't so hard to take, that's right
'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name
And I'll just look away, that's right

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down
Baby, I don't care
Keep it up, and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me
A loser like me

Hey, you, over there
Keep the L up-up in the air
Hey, you, over there
Keep the L up, 'cause I don't care
You can throw your sticks, and you can throw your stones
Like a rocket, just watch me go
Yeah, l-o-s-e-r
I can only be who I are

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down
Baby, I don't care
Keep it up, and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me
A loser like me

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down
Baby, I don't care
Keep it up, and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be
You wanna be
A loser like me (A loser like me)
A loser like me (A loser like me)
A loser like me

I've heard it said, that people come into our lives
For a reason, bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return


Have you ever felt that you're like a ship, drifting with the waves, going where the currents take you, without a clear objective or goal to move towards?

You're like, directionless, going day by day, not sure where you moving to..

I used to think that I know what I want. I used to think that I am working towards my goal, and with the right amount of perseverance, I will get there one day.

And things changed. Things happened that made me rethink. People entered my life, people stayed, and people left. Thoughts crept in, and I started to question.

Do I really want to remain in a place of my life that I will remain stagnant in? How about my own personal growth?

So, some time to reflect...


What if he's an angel sent here from heaven
and he's making certain that you're doing your best,
To take the time to help one another,
Brother are you gonna pass that test,
You could go on with you day to day
Trying to forget what you saw in his face,
Knowing deep down you could have been her saving grace
What if he's an angel?


Actually, there are many options open to me. There are many other roads I can go down, but all of them needs to sit and simmer for awhile. They need to brew, so they can be strong, and when I'm ready, one day I will pick them up and pour all of it out on to the table, and decide which option is best, and if that's the road I'm gonna finally take.

But not now.

There are other things to think about.

Some of them important, some not so important. Some made me question, and some I couldn't even be bothered.

I have always asked myself, is this really worth it? Am I really going on the right track?

I don't want to stay somewhere where I will become more pessimistic by the day, and turn into a negative person altogether.


What are words
if you really don't mean them when you say them?
What are words
If they're only for good times, then they don't?
When it's love
yeah you say them out loud
Those words, they never go away.
They live on, even when we're gone


So here's a question for ya.

What do you do when the person you needed to talk to most doesn't even seem to have the time for you? Or maybe that person does, but it's not for you?

The answer is obvious. Make that person the person you need least.

.
.
.


But it's not that easy, is it?

But, I guess I should be happy, cos there's finally someone else.

But I'm not, cos it means there's no more room for me.

It means, no more meetings just with me.

It means, no more sharings just with me.

It means, nothing.

Except a normal friendship.

But who am I kidding? I was never special in the first place.




PS: This blog is going private soon...not sure when, but soon