Sometimes I just don't get it.
Here I was, happily trundling along with my life. Doing ok at work, building friendships with others, patting myself on the back for a few personal achievements, getting back on the horse on personal relationships, all those not too bad stuff.
Then someone totally unexpected decides to come along, and sweep me off my feet. Even after learning of his past, I decided it was worth knowing him, because of the camaraderie I felt when I talk to him. After all, everyone needs the benefit of the doubt.
There was non-stop bbm-ing, with a little bit of teasing thrown in here and there, and innuendoes of hinting at something that might realise. It was all too good to be true. It was all those stuff you hear of something special forming, and it was happening to me. I guess I spoke too soon.
I still cannot fathom how some people equate all relationships with marriage. I mean, sure, when you've been in a relationship long enough to realise that this is the person you wana spend the rest of your life with, then yes, it does end up in marriage. BUT not all relationships start out that way. Most relationships start out with both persons liking each other, and getting to know each other, and seeing where it goes from there. In an ideal world, yes, it all ends in marriage, but we have to realise that we are living in a far from ideal world.
I was talking to my close friend this afternoon about how I fear that if I get into this relationship, being at the age that I am at right now, I would have to think about marriage soon. She consequently proceeded to knock me on the head *virtually* and told me to enjoy the moment, and take it one day at a time. Flirt, go out on dates, maybe go steady, and see where we go from there. We are still too young to be worrying about marriage. I concur.
After giving it some thought, I think it makes alot of sense. Why wana worry about something that might, or might not come in the future? As Jeremy Schwartz would put it, "Live every day as if it were your last". I mean, seriously, being in your mid twenties doesn't mean marriage is the immediate precedent in your mind. I still need to build up my career, go for my dreams, fulfill what I have set out to do. I guess all this talk about marrying early is the wiring in the brain since time immemorial. And it didn't help matters that everywhere I turn, all my friends are getting married -.-"
Final thought before bed, I think you are playing tricks on me. You introduced me to someone I could talk to, someone I felt I might be able to connect to, and you made it not happen, again.
But, maybe it might. Only time will tell.
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