Sunday, June 27, 2010

Spending time with two people this past weekend actually made me think a little bit more. I don’t know if it’s a good thing, considering that I’m already a thinking person -.-“

And the past few days actually made me feel more things, things that I don’t want to feel, because they’re not good things.

Anger. Frustration. Stress. Despair. Worry. Irritation. Helpless. Inferior. Hurt. Desolate. Lonely.

Though there were good feelings as well, somehow the negative feelings always come back up to the surface, and try as I might, I find it hard to push them back down. I think this is because it stems from something deeper, something more innate, that I have to deal with in my own time.

But having a lot of workload on my hands actually made me think if I really have time to sit down and think about these feelings and what they’re doing to me. When I try to make time to sit down and analyse my feelings, to get that little bit of alone time for myself, I can’t concentrate. My mind will continually wander and automatically list down the things still outstanding that I have yet to do (and how little times I have left) and as a consequence I’ll worry, and it’ll defeat the purpose of having some of that alone time in the first place.

I’m actually quite glad that I’ll get to have one week’s rest before August, and there have been some plans (though not concrete yet) to do some traveling. I’m actually looking forward to it, so I really hope it’ll come to fruition. I guess after working at a job that takes so much out of you (even if it’s for a short while), it’s always best to take time out to rejuvenate your soul and mind, and have a few days without worries to settle the senses and get mentally prepared to start work once again.

I guess at this point in time, in this juncture, I have to have faith that things will work out alright. A friend told me tonight, to not beat myself up over things, cos thinking too much about things will make us go crazy. While I know that it’s true, it’s easier said than done.

But I’ll take solace in other things..

1 comment:

Choulyee said...

hehe.. if it helps, we can always have our maggi mee or tom yam fried rice watching House and laughing at House and Wilson! ^^