I think I seriously need some time for reflection.
Too many things are happening at once, and I don’t know if I have time to really react to any of them. There are two things on the personal front, and work has been a never ending battle. In fact, just finished my evaluation few days back, and the response has not been encouraging. Nonetheless, I firmly believe it’s just a stepping stone to something better, and with more months into the job, I will be able to make a better job of it.
Personally, it’s been turmoil of thoughts and feelings. Too many bad thoughts circulating around, that it’s hard to put a handle on it, and as a result, it drowns out the good things.
Ah boy says it’s cos I’m too possessive over my friendships. And thinking about it, I guess he’s right. But when you’re in different circles with them for so long, when these two circles finally meet to form a Venn diagram and you’re in the intersection, you’ll naturally find it hard to adapt to the new environment, and reality.
I’m afraid my friendships are evolving too fast for me to handle, and I don’t want to be there when the moment comes for it to end.
Was talking to ah boy last night and he mentioned Parmenie. For him, it’s Singapore. For me, I don’t know yet. And that thought led me to scramble awhile, thinking if I have gone wrong somewhere and not have a Parmenie to go to. But after thinking about it, I guess sometimes some people find their Parmenie later in life. So, while I have yet to find my Parmenie, I’m still young, and am sure that I definitely will find mine one day soon. Lol for now, it’s that special room in SFX ;p
Cos I need time, my heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I’m still healing, just try, and have a little patience
Turning 25 in two weeks, but I still feel like a child :/
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